Todays Dating World
I'm hardly the one to ever lose interest, usually, once I'm involved I'm fucking involved that is until I start feeling like the person I'm seeing starts to pull away. I'm not sure if I'm the only person who can tell when someone loses complete interest or if everyone gets that gut feeling, but that's exactly where I feel it, in my gut. I'm not the person who sticks around and tries to make it work if I feel someone is completely uninterested, that's just a waste of time and there's plenty of men in this world that would find me interesting and not lose interest after several fuck dates.
In this day and age once someone loses interest they just ghost you, they don't have the balls to say "Hey this was fun but I don't think we're a good fit." Instead, they just leave you hanging wondering whether or not you still have a chance and that's fucked. Don't get me wrong I'm totally guilty of ghosting people, for someone with huge balls I lack the ability to end things properly. I think the reason I don't always put an end to things is because if something doesn't work out or I somehow make my way back to that person we can just pick up where we left off, I'm totally fucking selfish in that thought and I need to work on just ending things instead of being a dickhead. I don't often lose interest and it sucks because sometimes I'm the one getting ghosted and I sit in my room wondering what was it that made them not want to continue dating me but I don't lose sleep over it. When I was a teenager a few guys ghosted me, this was before I had any experience in the dating world and because I was just making my way into the dating world this caused me to lose my mind. I wasn't sure if they were playing hard to get or if they genuinely had no interest in me and I'd lose sleep thinking of ways to repair whatever it was that made that person pull away from me.
Getting over being ghosted is fairly simple, my main thought every time this happens to me is, "this is childish shit." If a man wants to be with you he's going to make it known he's not going to tiptoe around and keep you guessing whether or not he's still interested or has any feelings for you. Men that can't make up their mind about being with you need to be let go especially if there's another person involved. You never want to be known as the second choice trust me it'll stay in your mind and make you wonder what the other person has that you don't, if you find yourself in this situation just take yourself out of the equation because if the person has to even second guess whether they want you around or not they're more than likely to be the type that cheats on you later on or flirts with other girls behind your back. I was once in a situation where a guy had to choose between me and this other girl he chose her and I was hurt a lot. A few years later he asked to hang out and I said fuck it because I had a few questions I wanted to ask him like, "why wasn't I good enough for you?" Instead of being able to ask questions he told me how he wished he chose me instead then he tried to make a move on me which I rejected because I have respect for myself and the other girl in the situation, because of this I realized I didn't need to get answers from him because years later he still had a childish mindset and I was too good for him in the first place.
Being apart of the dating world today makes you develop tough skin because everyone obsesses over side hoes, friends with benefits situations, and plain old cheating. No one can stay loyal, commitment is scary, and no one is ever ready for a relationship. Because of constant rejection or hurt, we turn ourselves into cold-hearted bitches that don't show emotion and laugh in the faces of men that actually want to be with us. I sometimes wonder why our generation is so fucked is it because of music and movies or is it because we're the generation that comes from parents who divorced each other. I sure as shit blame my parents for a lot of things and I think the reason I struggle with commitment so much is because I saw there relationship crumble before my little 4-year-old eyes but I also blame the ridiculous romance movies that made my expectations so high that all the men I dated felt like they could never please me, I ultimately blame myself for letting these things affect me and shape my mind. I know growing up you see things and in your head you say things like, "I'll never be the same as my parents" or "I won't allow my relationships to fail" truth is shit happens, people fall out of love, and we'll always be somewhat like our parents because we're made up of their dna. We can't pretend like our problems don't exist or run from our mistakes, we can blame ourselves and feel shitty or we can take our mistakes and learn from them and make sure they don't happen again.
In today's dating world my advice to you is don't become a cold-hearted bitch, don't cheat, don't allow yourself to become closed off. I know putting yourself out there and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is scary but to me, it's the bravest shit you can do, in a world where everyone is obsessed with just sex and not love and relationships you're stopping that obsession in its tracks. You're making the effort to turn the idea of love into something special again, you're giving meaning back to the word and showing that it shouldn't be thrown around lightly. Be the change that today's dating world needs because it's in serious lack of love, respect, and care. Be vocal, stop ghosting people, don't set ridiculously high expectations, and accept your failed relationships without it making you cold.
In this day and age once someone loses interest they just ghost you, they don't have the balls to say "Hey this was fun but I don't think we're a good fit." Instead, they just leave you hanging wondering whether or not you still have a chance and that's fucked. Don't get me wrong I'm totally guilty of ghosting people, for someone with huge balls I lack the ability to end things properly. I think the reason I don't always put an end to things is because if something doesn't work out or I somehow make my way back to that person we can just pick up where we left off, I'm totally fucking selfish in that thought and I need to work on just ending things instead of being a dickhead. I don't often lose interest and it sucks because sometimes I'm the one getting ghosted and I sit in my room wondering what was it that made them not want to continue dating me but I don't lose sleep over it. When I was a teenager a few guys ghosted me, this was before I had any experience in the dating world and because I was just making my way into the dating world this caused me to lose my mind. I wasn't sure if they were playing hard to get or if they genuinely had no interest in me and I'd lose sleep thinking of ways to repair whatever it was that made that person pull away from me.
Getting over being ghosted is fairly simple, my main thought every time this happens to me is, "this is childish shit." If a man wants to be with you he's going to make it known he's not going to tiptoe around and keep you guessing whether or not he's still interested or has any feelings for you. Men that can't make up their mind about being with you need to be let go especially if there's another person involved. You never want to be known as the second choice trust me it'll stay in your mind and make you wonder what the other person has that you don't, if you find yourself in this situation just take yourself out of the equation because if the person has to even second guess whether they want you around or not they're more than likely to be the type that cheats on you later on or flirts with other girls behind your back. I was once in a situation where a guy had to choose between me and this other girl he chose her and I was hurt a lot. A few years later he asked to hang out and I said fuck it because I had a few questions I wanted to ask him like, "why wasn't I good enough for you?" Instead of being able to ask questions he told me how he wished he chose me instead then he tried to make a move on me which I rejected because I have respect for myself and the other girl in the situation, because of this I realized I didn't need to get answers from him because years later he still had a childish mindset and I was too good for him in the first place.
Being apart of the dating world today makes you develop tough skin because everyone obsesses over side hoes, friends with benefits situations, and plain old cheating. No one can stay loyal, commitment is scary, and no one is ever ready for a relationship. Because of constant rejection or hurt, we turn ourselves into cold-hearted bitches that don't show emotion and laugh in the faces of men that actually want to be with us. I sometimes wonder why our generation is so fucked is it because of music and movies or is it because we're the generation that comes from parents who divorced each other. I sure as shit blame my parents for a lot of things and I think the reason I struggle with commitment so much is because I saw there relationship crumble before my little 4-year-old eyes but I also blame the ridiculous romance movies that made my expectations so high that all the men I dated felt like they could never please me, I ultimately blame myself for letting these things affect me and shape my mind. I know growing up you see things and in your head you say things like, "I'll never be the same as my parents" or "I won't allow my relationships to fail" truth is shit happens, people fall out of love, and we'll always be somewhat like our parents because we're made up of their dna. We can't pretend like our problems don't exist or run from our mistakes, we can blame ourselves and feel shitty or we can take our mistakes and learn from them and make sure they don't happen again.
In today's dating world my advice to you is don't become a cold-hearted bitch, don't cheat, don't allow yourself to become closed off. I know putting yourself out there and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is scary but to me, it's the bravest shit you can do, in a world where everyone is obsessed with just sex and not love and relationships you're stopping that obsession in its tracks. You're making the effort to turn the idea of love into something special again, you're giving meaning back to the word and showing that it shouldn't be thrown around lightly. Be the change that today's dating world needs because it's in serious lack of love, respect, and care. Be vocal, stop ghosting people, don't set ridiculously high expectations, and accept your failed relationships without it making you cold.
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