Fuck Ups
Have you recently fucked up? Maybe you cheated on someone, failed an exam, spent way too much money, ate too much junk food while you're on a diet, or totaled your car. I'm here to tell you it's okay to fuck up. We've all been there, mistakes are apart of life and they help us learn things about ourselves, our relationships, and our wants and needs. I'm no saint, I've fucked up a lot in my short amount of time on earth but each of my fuck ups have been growing experiences for me and overall I'm a much better and wiser person due to all my fuck ups.
Fucking up is normal so please don't believe you're defective if you do make a mess of your life every once in a while. We get ourselves into sticky situations and sometimes we don't always know why some of us just act on impulse while others subconsciously do things on purpose. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not an advocator of people who purposefully mess up their lives and do damaging shit to not only themselves but others, that behavior is toxic to everyone involved and the people that display that type of behavior need to check themselves before they wreck themselves for good. I've been around people who accidentally fucked up and I've been around the people who fuck up their lives on purpose, I identify more with the people who accidentally fuck up but when I was a teenager I would purposefully do things to screw up my life. Not all of us can just say that we want attention or crave it or need it so whenever I wanted attention whether it be from family members, friends, or boyfriends I would get it across in a harmful way to my relationships by doing things like talking shit about my friends, or purposefully skipping school or getting bad grades, or flirting with my boyfriends friends. I was an asshole but I was also just a teenager that was shitty at telling people what I needed from them, I'd like to say I'm much better at it now but I still struggle with saying "I need your attention!" I'm not one of those needy girls or the girl that thinks the world revolves around her, I don't need attention 24/7 but I was slightly neglected by my parents and that caused a few issues. It's not like my parents were awful people they were kids struggling to get their shit together and had kids way too early so I didn't get to spend the time I needed with them. When they were home they were too busy fixing dinner or getting ready for work the next day or I just didn't see them at all because they worked 3rd shift and they'd sleep all day until their next shift. But not being able to spend the time I needed with them did some damage and because of that my communication skills are not the greatest and I'm not always straightforward with telling people what I need from them and as a result, it causes me to act out.
The people who accidentally fuck up usually do things because they think their lives will be better if they take a certain path rather than a different one or they subconsciously believe that they don't deserve good things or sometimes these people don't fully understand a situation and it takes a turn for the worst and then their life is in the shitter but these are the people making an everyday effort to turn their lives around and better it. Learning from your mistakes is a big part of life and if you make a mistake you've gotta grow a pair and own up to your mess. Some things you can run from but you can only run so far before it starts eating at your mind. Say you cheated and you feel guilty but you don't want to tell your partner, how long are you willing to keep that guilty conscience, so you a made a mistake your partner will either accept it talk about it with you or they'll leave you but getting it off your chest will not only give you relief but help you understand why you act out in these ways. You need to take the time to understand your actions and why you do things it's not always impulsive thoughts or actions that get you into sticky situations but underlying issues that you need to bring to light and figure out. After fucking up so many things in my life I finally took the time to take a look at why I did the things I did and I learned that I didn't believe I deserved good things and I never took responsibility for my actions and I blamed everyone for my shitty life. I would self-sabatoge myself without meaning to do it especially in relationships because I always believed my partners deserved someone that was better than me or was at least equal to them I never thought of myself as their equal and that caused a lot of fights, cheating happened on both sides, and that resulted in failed relationships. Sometimes a simple evaluation will reveal multiple problems that you need to own up to and work on and as long as you're making progress the little fuck ups along the way will be nothing but learning curves that will help better your life.
Remember it's okay to fuck up but don't be a fuck up. Learn from your mistakes and move past them and don't purposefully create a shitty life for yourself and the people around you. Hold yourself accountable for the fuck ups you do and don't blame everyone else or don't be like me and blame God every time something goes wrong. When I was younger and believed in God I thought he had it out for me because so often it felt like things would go wrong in my life and I thought God just hated me, turns out I just didn't take responsibility for the shit I did nobody hated me besides the enemies I made over the years. Anyways we all fuck up so don't worry about it.
Fucking up is normal so please don't believe you're defective if you do make a mess of your life every once in a while. We get ourselves into sticky situations and sometimes we don't always know why some of us just act on impulse while others subconsciously do things on purpose. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not an advocator of people who purposefully mess up their lives and do damaging shit to not only themselves but others, that behavior is toxic to everyone involved and the people that display that type of behavior need to check themselves before they wreck themselves for good. I've been around people who accidentally fucked up and I've been around the people who fuck up their lives on purpose, I identify more with the people who accidentally fuck up but when I was a teenager I would purposefully do things to screw up my life. Not all of us can just say that we want attention or crave it or need it so whenever I wanted attention whether it be from family members, friends, or boyfriends I would get it across in a harmful way to my relationships by doing things like talking shit about my friends, or purposefully skipping school or getting bad grades, or flirting with my boyfriends friends. I was an asshole but I was also just a teenager that was shitty at telling people what I needed from them, I'd like to say I'm much better at it now but I still struggle with saying "I need your attention!" I'm not one of those needy girls or the girl that thinks the world revolves around her, I don't need attention 24/7 but I was slightly neglected by my parents and that caused a few issues. It's not like my parents were awful people they were kids struggling to get their shit together and had kids way too early so I didn't get to spend the time I needed with them. When they were home they were too busy fixing dinner or getting ready for work the next day or I just didn't see them at all because they worked 3rd shift and they'd sleep all day until their next shift. But not being able to spend the time I needed with them did some damage and because of that my communication skills are not the greatest and I'm not always straightforward with telling people what I need from them and as a result, it causes me to act out.
The people who accidentally fuck up usually do things because they think their lives will be better if they take a certain path rather than a different one or they subconsciously believe that they don't deserve good things or sometimes these people don't fully understand a situation and it takes a turn for the worst and then their life is in the shitter but these are the people making an everyday effort to turn their lives around and better it. Learning from your mistakes is a big part of life and if you make a mistake you've gotta grow a pair and own up to your mess. Some things you can run from but you can only run so far before it starts eating at your mind. Say you cheated and you feel guilty but you don't want to tell your partner, how long are you willing to keep that guilty conscience, so you a made a mistake your partner will either accept it talk about it with you or they'll leave you but getting it off your chest will not only give you relief but help you understand why you act out in these ways. You need to take the time to understand your actions and why you do things it's not always impulsive thoughts or actions that get you into sticky situations but underlying issues that you need to bring to light and figure out. After fucking up so many things in my life I finally took the time to take a look at why I did the things I did and I learned that I didn't believe I deserved good things and I never took responsibility for my actions and I blamed everyone for my shitty life. I would self-sabatoge myself without meaning to do it especially in relationships because I always believed my partners deserved someone that was better than me or was at least equal to them I never thought of myself as their equal and that caused a lot of fights, cheating happened on both sides, and that resulted in failed relationships. Sometimes a simple evaluation will reveal multiple problems that you need to own up to and work on and as long as you're making progress the little fuck ups along the way will be nothing but learning curves that will help better your life.
Remember it's okay to fuck up but don't be a fuck up. Learn from your mistakes and move past them and don't purposefully create a shitty life for yourself and the people around you. Hold yourself accountable for the fuck ups you do and don't blame everyone else or don't be like me and blame God every time something goes wrong. When I was younger and believed in God I thought he had it out for me because so often it felt like things would go wrong in my life and I thought God just hated me, turns out I just didn't take responsibility for the shit I did nobody hated me besides the enemies I made over the years. Anyways we all fuck up so don't worry about it.
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